Editorial - Appropriate Balance

Your interlocutor is a proud defender of the right of reply and has decided that the letter this publication received from Ronya should be published in full, subject only to the caveat that the views expressed below are not those of the editor, publisher or owner of this blog.

The spelling and grammar have been upgraded to meet our publisher's requirements.

Our readers are reminded of the most important Latin quotation of all, "cave canem".

ED.

Dear Ducky,

I was offended by the assertion in an earlier blog that readers who were interested in me are "poor misguided fools'.  It was an insult to your audience and hurtful to me.





 It is easy for you to pretentiously prattle on about about a great Dane born in 1813 in Copenhagen as opposed to a Great Dane  like the one in the picture but I have more practical tasks.







My life is filled by a series of challenging dichotomies. My first dilemma is that I am constantly hungry, but not hungry enough to want the dry dog food Grandpa puts in my dish.  It is very time consuming licking off the fine dust of dried pork liver sprinkled over the top without accidentally swallowing the dreaded pellets that inhibit my hunger.  I have to strike a fine balance,  not eating whilst very hungry so that in the end the Grandpa feels sorry for me and adds some slightly larger tidbits at which stage I can't help myself and wolf the lot down. Grandpa seems to know dog psychology pretty well so each day I have to think up a new ruse.

Another problem is that I just can't bring myself to willingly drink either the filtered water  or tap water from my water bowl, no, what I really want is water from puddles, not the rain water from the tank mind you, or from the fish pond, no it has to be rain water lapped of the wooden deck. In summer that's a problem, there hasn't been any rain so I have been quite thirsty, not thirsty enough to drink from my water dish, but thirsty enough to drink from the saucers under Grandpa's bonsai collection at every opportunity.

My biggest problem is that Grandpa takes his morning walks very seriously.  I nag him to go as soon as he wakes up but my legs are short and his are not so short so very soon after we reach the park I want to go home but Grandpa insists on me walking what he calls 'enough'.  I think it is a crafty scheme to tire me out so all I do is lie in my bed when I get home.  But I am finding that each day I can walk further and if we go at the right time I find the sprinklers in the park have made puddles I can lap up.  Suddenly I have energy to chase birds around the park, stand in the garden and chase the birds away, station myself in the front garden, as long as a human is with me on my side of the gate, bark at all comers and generally show all the signs of a healthy and happy Cavoodle.

But now the two of them have come up with a new tactic, we are walking twice a day!

My final dilemma is working out the right ratio in which to share positive reinforcement between Grandpa and Auntie Lorna.  Grandpa seems to be doing pretty much want I want, except his slowness in further enhancing the contents of my food dish and  I suspect I'll have a tough time wheedling him, Whereas Aunt Lorna seems to be more interested in her needle point  and computer than me so I am focusing my efforts at giving her permission to sit me on her lap and experience all the largess I have to bestow on her.  So far progress is slow but I am nothing if not persistent.   

I have had a major win.  They were invited to a party  to mark New Year's Eve in an apartment overlooking the Harbour with a spectacular view of Sydney's celebrated fireworks but they have decided to stay at home and comfort me just in case I suffer from Merryitus. (For those who do not know, Merry was one of their dogs that I knew  very briefly who told me she was a gun dog who failed the shot gun test,  was scarred for life by the experience and took fits every time there was a loud bang, like thunder or fireworks.)

So Ducky, you can denigrate me for failing to improve my mind but I have a far higher duty, improving the  service offerings of my two interim human attendants. By the way Ducky, do you have the user id and password for Grandpa's TripAdvisor account?  I am thinking of reviewing Hotel Narangaree.